Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Miscellaneous Thoughts and Stuff

List time.

  1. I apologize for being gone so long. I KINDA felt bad, but not really, since no one reads this anyway.
  2. Halloween has bummed me out ever since I left Trinidad. (I know that was only two Halloweens ago, but still.) It didn't this year as much as I expected, but it still wasn't emotion-free. I had a kickass sleepover with friends of mine where we watched some freaky movies and had girly talk and slept a lot. That was on Friday, and then the rest of the weekend, while everyone in the world I knew was out partying and doing awesome Halloween-related stuff, I stayed home, slept, watched lots of Halloween TV programming, and ate good food. I've never really acted my age, but does anyone else think it's weird that I haven't been to ONE PARTY the ENTIRE YEAR I've lived in Winnipeg? No? Just me, then.
  3. I totally think I could be a rapper/singer on rap songs now.
  4. I have an incredible crush on a real-life rapper/writer/actor/comedian, Donald Glover/Childish Gambino, and IT'S NOT GOING AWAY.
  5. I have no travel planned for November. This is very, very strange and it sort of weirds me out.
  6. On the topic of November, I cannot for the LIFE of me remember November 2009. Was I drugged that entire month, or something? I just missed it.
  7. I have INCREDIBLE cramps right now. Okay, so this is more of a diary now than a blog, but seriously, NO ONE IS READING THIS. If you are...you deserve a cookie.

I'm tired now. That took some serious exertion. Night, friends.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

When Robin Lives Alone

My mom went away for three days and two nights this past weekend. She left early on Sunday morning and got back a few hours ago, Tuesday afternoon.

Since 16 isn't old enough to be left alone (or, you know, fly to Trinidad all by yourself, BUT WHATEVER), some my friends moved in WITH me so that in case I burnt the house down, we would ALL die and not just me.

So here's what happened, in list form.

  1. Number of girls under one roof: 3 (4 counting non-humans)
  2. Number of alternatively crazy-ass hyped up OR depressed and downtrodden dogs: 1
  3. Number of worried mother phone calls: 5-6 per day
  4. Number of rooms cleaned before arrival of guests: 8
  5. Number of sets of sheets washed: 3
  6. Number of towels washed: 10-12
  7. Number of loads of laundry ruined by me: NONE
  8. Number of lamps broken: 1
  9. Number of "this is why I shouldn't try and be nice by cleaning the house because I break so much shit" moments: 3
  10. Hours spent with iTunes playing: at least 12
  11. Amount of homework done: the bare minimum
  12. Number of nail polish color changes: 4
  13. Number of doggie accidents: 4 separate occasions
  14. Number of Spanish words spoken: 15-20
  15. Number of Mad Men episodes watched: 3
  16. Number of hours spent talking about boys: 5
  17. Number of hours spent talking about ONE boy: 4.5
  18. Number of swear words said: 50
  19. Number of swear words said by me: 48
  20. Number of imaginary sexy young Latino men to stop by: 3

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Thing About Compliments; A Jagged Gorgeous Winter; My Cup Size

Compliments, rather than making me proud, tend to make me squirm.

I'm chatting to Eoin and trying to explain why compliments rarely work. I think it's because people are so quick to say nice things ("I love your hair", "I want those shoes", "Your eye makeup looks really good") that they're not a rarity. And, like all nice things, the more common they are, the less valuable it makes them.

If Don Draper were to compliment me, I would die. It would make my life.

If Eoin, or a friend, or my mom, compliments me, I appreciate it just as much, and I love that they do it, but it's not a day-altering experience.

That's all I have to say about that.

I hope you enjoyed that picture. I'm going to talk about something else now.

Winter is coming.

I don't know how I feel about that. I didn't really notice it last year. We got in a bit of a rut in winter, and I just sort of went through it in a fog. 11th grade overall went ridiculously fast, but it was like I moved to Canada, then stuff happened, and then it was Spring Session already.

I'm thinking about myself a lot lately. Not really in a bad way. I'm thinking about how I look (also not in a bad way), and confidence. I'm thinking that I've always wanted to have a skinny stomach and smaller thighs but how proud I am of my hips and chest.

My women's studies class makes me think about these things, and why I wear makeup and style my hair the way I do. And even when I'm home alone, and wearing my black sweatpants, and a tight-fitting black v-neck, and my hair looks banging with a red scarf in it, I have this incredible confidence that lets me swing my hips around my room, singing along to the Ting Tings and organizing. I'm thinking about how even if I'm not going to see anyone, looking good makes me feel good, and feeling good feels GOOD.

I like makeup. And hair. And my C-cups. And while I could live without my stretch marks, and wouldn't mind slightly whiter teeth, I'm learning to cope with what, and who, I am right now.

What do I love most in the world? This.

This is Mad Men, and this is my show.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

For the Newbies

If you don't know already, please go look at the page called The Blog(s) for a full description of what exactly is going on here.

Monday, September 6, 2010

There's Just More White to Love!

I consider myself a confident person. That being said, my self-esteem goes up and down more than...something that goes up and down a lot.

Things that murder my self-confidence and leave me wanting to crawl under my covers with nothing but a pack of double-stuffed Oreos and three seasons of Smallville include trying on swimsuits, being around my cousin Shayleigh while being within ten feet of a mirror, sunbathing, and being sweaty.

Things that make me love myself and every curve I have are things like well-fitting jeans, bulky sweaters, having my makeup done by Mai, waking up acne-free, seeing this picture (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/photo.php?pid=2502126&id=565781751&ref=fbx_album), straightening my hair to perfection, painting my fingernails black, and watching Chris Rock, who normally annoys me, do stand-up about how much black guys love chunky white girls.

Before a day of what I was sure was going to be soul-crushingly painful clothes shopping, I watched a good hour of this stand-up. (There were no Saturday morning cartoons on.)

But what all the Chris Rock the crappy Canadian Comedy channel had on at 8 in the morning couldn't prepare me for was a little store called Aeropostale.

A haven for those seeking American grunge-style clothes without adopting the Kurt Cobain personality (see: Ke$ha), Aeropostale is famous for it's eagle logo, plaid chambray shirts, and ridiculous pretention, all seeping through over-priced, mass-produced clothing and accessories. And we just can't get enough of it.

Silly me, I decided to go into an Aeropostale on the Saturday of American Labor Day weekend. It was completely packed, but the sign that screamed "$15 Hoodies!" was irresistible. Turns out they were actually sweatshirts in ugly colors (note: difference between hoodies and sweatshirts - a zipper up the front. Sweatshirts have to be pulled over your head. Duh) but I ended up finding REAL hoodies and cute shirts in my size, which, I was sad to discover during this shopping trip, is a Large, if I want any breathing room. After waiting in line for what felt like FOREVER for a changing room, I was enraged to find that the Large size was tight on me.

Now, I am NOT a fat-ass. I know I can't convince you of that, imaginary internet readers. But I am AVERAGE in sweet, kind, lovely stores like Penney's and Target. And so while I still drool over the gorgeous clothes sold in places like Aeropostale and American Apparel, I have to come to the realization that hipster joints have done the opposite of what Morgan Spurlock talked about. They've labeled the Medium sizes "Large", and the Larges "Supersized" in an effort to make us all feel bad about ourselves.

I think it's time I put aside my Chris Rock issues and load up on his wisdom before I go back for Shopping Trip, Volume 2.

Friday, August 27, 2010

A Cleaning Frenzy


See, this is what I like about getting to dictate my own blog rules. I SHOULD be giving every single detail about my trip to Trinidad and everything else that happened this summer. I SHOULD tell you that it was awesome and fabulous and we had a bitchin' time. And I SHOULD tell you that I'm back in Winnipeg now and am in a cleaning frenzy to "get ready for school" which starts on September 9th.

I SHOULD tell you all of those things.

But I don't really WANT to.

So, here is a sampling of blog posts that I started over the past few weeks and didn't finish. Because I just didn't feel like it.

1. No Title (Because I'm Bad Like That)

AGH! NOOO! I'm doing it again! I'm failing to blog for weeks straight! You guys! This isn't good!

I know I said I don't like people breaking the fourth wall when it comes to my blog, but that only applies when we're in PERSON! COMMENT, YOU GUYS! I wrote that EPIC post about me yorking all over the Capitol steps AND NO ONE CARED. Do you know what that DOES to a girl's self esteem? Shit's CRAZY.


What have I been doing recently?

Not a whole heck of a lot.

I know I'm in Our National's Capital, so the thought that I'm doing squat is pretty ridonculous. But these days, I'm more inclined to sleep until 2pm, laze around, watch old House re-runs and spend WAY too much time on Facebook.

2. Love-Hate Relationships

Everything is different when you're in a long-distance relationship. Nothing is the same as when you both live within ten miles of each other. The dynamic is different. Every conversation is long and full and complicated because once you're finally in a rhythm with that person again, after how ever many days it's  been, you don't want to lose it.

I'm not in one of these relationships - I'm in several. I'm with family right now, which, ironically, means I'm not with any of my friends. Every friend I care about is far away - whether its the other side of the world, thousands of miles south of here, or a short bus ride north of me, not one of them is here.

The internet eases the pain. It always has. I got my first ever email account (the Hotmail account I use to this day) before I moved away from Poland, and though there have been some fabulous technological advances since then - Gmail, MSN, Skype, Facebook - the basic principles are still the same. Internet may ease the pain, but it doesn't make it go away.

This is the second post in a row that has sounded down. That's probably because I'm writing it at closer to 4 in the morning than 3. (Barely.)

3. An Update from AMERICA


And in the homeland. I figured I should update so I don't look like Ms. Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half, not blogging for a month. I WOULD blog, except I didn't bring Flamingo (my laptop. Seriously. If you don't know that, learn to use my *Archives* -->) and the only laptop around is my brother's, but more importantly, the internet around here is majorly lacking.

We're gonna make a list now, so I can organize mah thoughts.

  1. ANOTHER THING THAT'S MAJORLY LACKING - COLDNESS. If you know me, you know how much I love to be cold and how much I hate to be hot. It is HOT here.

See, you guys? I tried. You can't say I didn't TRY.

Meanwhile, props to Kaster (lifeisgouda.blogspot.com) for blogging again. Props to my brother (theextras.tumblr.com) for doing what I've encouraged him to for YEARS, and creating a place to post all the links he bombardes Facebook with. Props to Ms. Chesler (3limes.wordpress.com) for moving into her new house TODAY and being unlike me and blogging about every minute of it.

Props to everyone but Happy Little Lemon, who, I assure you, will get better at this.

Only if I feel like it.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010



So, I'm in Trinidad.

And if you're reading this, you're probably not. Which SUCKS, because that means you and I aren't hanging out. Which is a major shame.

While I'm not exactly *busy*, I don't have much time for blogging, so we'll be on one of those little empty times where you all wonder, Will she come back? Is she just going to stop blogging again? What will I DO if she doesn't come back? Do you think she knows how much I love and appreciate her? Should I tell her? (The answer is, and always will be, yes.)

IMPORTANT NEWS: I OFFICIALLY HAVE A SECOND COUSIN. My cousin, Jeremy, and his wife, Veronica, who you may remember me blogging about back when she got PREGNANT (which seems like waaaaaaaaaaaay less than 9 months ago), are the proud momma and poppa to GAWJUS Josephine Isabelle Dimick (which, by the way, is WAY prettier than any Sims name I have ever come up with). So YAAAY.

That's it on the news front. Talk to you, my dear, probably non-existant, internet readers, soon.


Friday, July 30, 2010

A Butterfly in a Lemon

I have a lot of things on my mind these days. I've always been a worrier, and I have these little spurts, usually late at night, when I hear a particular song or see something on TV (i.e. tonights viewage of choice - Forrest Gump). And when times is hard, I tend to make lists.

  1. My dear, dear friends Eddie and Tyler are going to be in New York starting Sunday night, making it the closest, distance-wise, I will have been to these guys in six months. It's around a three or four-hour bus ride up to NYC, and a roundtrip ticket doesn't cost an unbelievable amount. I can't describe how much I would love to see my friends, but I wish someone else would, for once, take over the reins and deal with logistics. The wholeconcept can only be described as thrilling. I think I would have the best few days of my life. But I can't help but worry about the spontaneity of such an amazing idea.

  2. I went to what's called Preview Day at American University here in DC today. It's one of the schools on my list. I'm not going to ramble about AU, but I will say that whenever the college topic comes back up, it just brings back this whole new wave of concerns. Money, what I want to do with my life, where I want to be located, what I want to study - I've always thought of myself as a decisive person, capable of making decisions, but this process always flips that on its head and makes me doubt myself. There are so many things to think of that sometimes my head just hurts and I get so sick of it all and all I want to do is cry.

  3. And as always, there are man issues. For the sake of some of my readers, I won't get into the details, but we've all been in relationships and we've all had the same drama and emotions and we all know how that can affect a person. It's hard, and it's tiring, and it just adds to the other shit we have to deal with.

I think that's all I have for now.

If anyone out there has any suggestions to get rid of the butterflies and the shaky hands and the knitted eyebrows, I will be so grateful to hear them.

Sorry the Little Lemon doesn't sound quite so Happyy.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

And Today I Scraped My Knee

So far, my tour of the capital isn't going FABULOUSLY. After my exciting experience on Saturday, I topped it off by sticking my heel in a hole in the street and toppling over. Not, however, before I grabbed my dad's ass, the nearest thing within reach, for support on the way down, and thoroughly freaked him and his girlfriend out.

I also sweated my fucking ASS off today. Well, we all did, but if you know me, you know how much I want to murder the whole concept of being hot and you'll understand how that can ruin a day.

We went to see a play in the hip neighborhood of DC, called Dupont Circle,  home of all things indie/hipster/liberal and some of the best bookstores, restaurants, cafes, and little boutiques in town. The play was NUTTY and, as all plays do, made me miss acting.

We've also brought back up the topic of college and where in hellll I am going to go. I don't understand how other people decide things like this. I wish there was someone who would just decide all of this FOR me and then tell me to live with it.

A blog update: I plan on redesigning HLL once I get my computer back - so ignore its current state of ugliness.