I realized the other day that I have named 6 (count 'em, SIX) technological devices in my life. And not only that, but they all have a personality.
- Laptop --> Flamingo, aka Flammy. Flaming gay, loves pink feather boas and Jamieson's laptop, Licorice. Is just himself. The Canadian in my group - pale, but sensitive, intelligent, just everything you'd want in a best friend.
- Printer --> Louise. No nonsense. Bosses everyone around and always gets her way, but with a soft side. If she was an animal, she'd be a hippo, with a big booty and proud of it. She loves Flammy (the oldest friends) and will defend anyone who teases him to the death.
- iPod --> Carmella. The sassy Latina. Bitchy and sneaky when she wants to be, but has a vulnerable side - every now and then, is very compliant. She and Louise have a history, and are best friends on and off.
- Camera --> Jefferson. Named after Jefferson Airplane. Is Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde - his/her sweet transvestite side comes out late at night, and he/she rocks the city.
- Desktop (family) computer --> Lucy. She used to be friends with all these guys, but moved away for a while, and recently got reaccquainted. She's a dumb blonde. She works hard when she needs to, but is known to get distracted and crash on unwitting users. But kind, deep down.
- External hard drive --> Jake. He's new to my little world here, but he's a sturdy bodybuilder. Don't nix him yet, he's incredibly strong and always trustworthy. Andre the Giant type. Sweet and gentle, but don't piss him off. Is secretly in love with Louise, his female counterpart, but knows they'll never be together. You never plug a hard drive into a printer.
I've, apparently, always been creative. But I thought I "grew out of it". Actually, come to think of it, I'm glad my loony elements are still around. I love picturing all these people interacting with each other. Like we were talking about in English today, it's a microcosm. Elements of every type of person in the world, packed into one area, or one town, or, in my case, one room.
It's like the EPIC (Dr. K voice: NYYEEPIC!) soap opera Jamie and I are working on. We identify SO MUCH with all the characters. For example, Phil is pure. Gay, loving, loveable, emotional, heartfelt - he's perfect and ideal and we love him. More about this soap opera in a later post.
Meanwhile, some thoughts. "Tip of the hat, wag of the finger", if you will.
First of all, a GIANT wag of my finger to the anecdote: "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Ridiculous statement. If someone handed you a lemon, you could make lemon juice, which is just as sour as regular lemons. If life hands you lemons, water, sugar, ice, a jug, and a spoon, then you're in like flinn, but other than that? PFFT.
Next, a grand tip of my hat to Chuck, aka Koonoo, a character in the Judd Apatow movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, for sympathizing with me on my previous point. When sitting on a surfboard, floating on the sea, he says, "When life hands you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons', and bail." Hells to the yes.
Thirdly, a WAGGIE WAGGIE of my finger to my dog, Shada. We were in panic-mode this morning when we thought she ran away, and it turns out she had just been hiding under my bed. I went off to school thinking Tony had found her around the block, but he had actually found her inside our house. She's never run away before, so I don't know why she would want to. We still don't know where she was, probably just under a bed eating my Kleenex, with the sound muffled by my comforter. But we love her, and are glad to have her back...from...being fake lost.
Lastly, a tip of my tophat to my mom, who had probably one of the WORST days in existence today, but who is a good enough person not to take it out on her lazy-ass, good-for-nothing kids.